Personal Insecurities and the Development of Indian Counter-cultures

Yesterday, I was watching a show called Youth Now on the Times Now channel. Adults below 30/35 were featured which included a theater actor, a musician, a graphic designer and a teacher trying to develop young political leaders. Each of them was self-confident, passionate and fired by a strong ambition to live his/her life on his/her own terms. One of the men featured, an artist, liked to wear saris and said that the sari was well suited to the male body. Another man was an actor who lived in an urban commune with his fellow actors. He was a tall good-looking man with dreadlocks. I winced that I had chosen a safer path than they had; I've always had a desire, sometimes burning, sometimes simmering, to be a rebel, and to live life in a way that I felt suited to me. I'm doing that in my own non-confrontational way. But the absence of any direct rebellion, causes me to be perceived as a placid cow. I am seen as a conformist, a nice guy, who does what his parents and society tells him to do. But I don't see myself in that way at all, and am therefore constantly shaken when people say, "Oh what a nice boy you are!" Eeks! I do hope that in a short time my publishing will be ground-breaking, and give me enough confidence to believe that I have taken a peaceful yet revolutionary path in my life. Personal insecurities aside, I was glad to see that India is rapidly developing counter-cultures, which means that I will be able to publish a wider range of books than I am doing right now.